I'm in trouble with Seaquest in America. The people there didn't like it when I recently applied the term "dragonfly-style" to one of the company's products, even though that product could be said to have two sets of buoyancy chambers in the same way that the predaceous insect has two sets of wings. Who says we own the English language!
In a land in which it is possible to take out a patent on the human genetic code, it occurs to me that somebody has probably also claimed ownership of the word "wing". Not wishing to have to take on Boeing or some other corporate giant, I propose from here on to avoid that term, too.
The first strictly non-technical "back-flotation" BC I tried was the Seaquest 3D. I raved in these pages about it, and bought myself one. I still use it because I like its minimalism and uncluttered design.
Alas, my enthusiasm was not shared. Minimalism is not well understood in an industry geared to selling as many gizmos as possible to its customers. Shops saw no benefit in stocking an item that countered this philosophy, so the importer Aqua-Lung UK stopped trying to sell the 3D to them. So much for my recommendations!
The direct descendent of the lovely yet unloved Seaquest 3D is the Seaquest Balance. It has lots of added value to see it safely into stock at dive shops and safely back out of their doors in the hands of paying customers.
It is another of those BCs which puts the air chamber behind you, just where an angel has those flappy, feathery bits - allegedly. Oops! I hope I don't get into trouble with the Pope for using the term "BC".
The Balance is a thoroughly 21st Century AD product, to which I will refer as a "BFJ" (back flotation jacket, of course!) from now on.
It has an integrated weight system with pockets at the rear for trim-weights, detachable and adjustable shoulder straps attached to a three-point fixing, a sternum strap, and a fold-out pocket and two large stainless-steel D-rings. It has a single camband attached to a hard backpack and a direct-feed hose which integrates nicely with the corrugated hose of the BFJ. You're meant to pull down on the corrugated hose to dump air from the shoulder-mounted dump.
There is also a dump at the lower back, which proves useful if finning down from the surface and when the time comes to drain the water from the buoyancy bag after use. It is made from a relatively lightweight 420 denier fabric.
That is all I am going to tell you about its specification. If you want to know more, get the brochure. Meanwhile, I have asked my lawyer to register ownership of the term "D-ring".
So what is this BFJ like for diving? It slipped on easily enough. With a 12 litre aluminium cylinder, I needed 2kg of lead either side in the weight pockets at the back and three either side at the front. Together with the air in it, which lay just where I wanted it, I got perfect buoyancy and trim when I was under water.
It also gave perfect surface support - so it's a case of Balance by nature as well as by name.
The pocket, which tends to dangle once deployed, was just big enough to hold a delayed SMB and Buddy pocket reel. The swivelling buckles on the shoulder straps meant that the unit was always comfortable.
The only problem was that the direct-feed hose supplied, an item which has a special slim connection to enable it to integrate nicely with the corrugated hose, was too short.
This meant that if you did anything but rig the camband at precisely the right place on the tank, it was impossible to release air by pulling down on the corrugated hose, as it was too restricted by the direct-feed hose.
Short of inverting and using the bottom dump, the only solution was to go upright and raise the corrugated hose. Ascending became something of a careful and studied process. I found it irritating, but it was the only BC I had with me. After 60 dives with it in the middle of the Coral Sea, things had become no better. What a BFJ!
The Seaquest Balance is available in sizes S, M, ML, L and XL. It costs £330.
Aqua-Lung UK 0116 2124200, www.aqualung.co.uk

SeaQuest Balance


Corrugated hose, with too-short direct-feed hose


the back flotation component


weight pocket and fold-out pocket

It's pathetic really. With all the diving trips I do, I almost always come back with a pair of wetsuit boots on which one of the zips has failed.
I admit that I might do as many as 40 dives in a two-week period, and in the hustle and bustle of pulling my continuously wet wetsuit on, I might not be giving my boots the love and attention they require, but surely they should last even with my clumsy fumbling to do up the zips?
It's the little notch that keeps the zip done up. It seems to wear away under strenuous use and I always end up doing a poor man's impersonation of Nora Batty on the last dives of a trip, with one boot flapping around my ankles.
So when Oceanic asked me if I would like to try a pair of its Classic boots for these pages, instead of turning up my nose at the idea of such a modest project, I said I would be happy to do so - but would the zips last?
These long boots come with soles which wrap around the neoprene upper, which in turn is reinforced with rubber at heel and toe. The YKK zips are backed by a generous gusset.
I went off on a long trip on which I did more than 60 dives in an 18-day period, and the boots proved very comfortable and never failed me.
I am pleased to report that these boots, although made in Taiwan like all the rest, came back as good as new.
Oceanic Classic wetsuit boots are available in sizes 3-12 and cost £38.
Oceanic SW 01404 891819, www.oceanicuk.com

I have tried several different types of dry-glove. The main problem I encounter is that they get compressed as you go deeper, leaving you with one of two choices. You either start off with them full of air, providing you with all the dexterity of a boxing-glove-wearer, or you try to squeeze the air out at the surface and suffer the effects of compression at depth.
People who enjoy the dignity of manual labour and have hands like hams as a consequence can put up with it. Not me. I want my hands warm and uncrushed.
What is needed is to find some way of integrating the gloves with the air contained within the suit. I have experimented with short lengths of hard plastic tube (the fine type that looks like a drinking straw) between the wrist seal of the suit and the wrist seal of the glove, but I have always been envious of those who have gloves properly attached to their suits by cuff-rings.
Cuff-rings bring their own problem; I have great difficulty understanding the instructions sent with them, and because using them involves removing the wrist seals from my suit and doing a bit of handicraft with abrasives and glue, I am always reluctant to get started. After all, if I had any such skill with my hands, I would have become a dentist and made so much money I wouldn't need to dive in cold water!
Then the Tauchtechnik Blue Point Dry Diving gloves arrived for me to try. Trust the Germans to get it right! The well-illustrated instructions led with the words "Easy assembly" and "No cutting or glueing". I was sold before I had begun.
The gloves seem to be the very same items used by every other dry-glove supplier. They come in blue or orange and have a fixed or removable fluffy inner lining. No surprises there. The clever bit is in the cuff-rings.
The cuff-rings come in two parts. It is necessary to fit one each to the drysuit cuff and the other to the glove. And you really can do this without cutting or glueing anything. In fact, I fitted mine to my suit while sitting on the sofa watching The 10 O'Clock News.
You use the existing latex wrist seal of the suit, squeezing the cuff-ring into it and securing it with the giant O-ring supplied. You then fold the extra latex back on itself and apply a second giant O-ring.
And there is no risk, because if you choose not to use them in the future, you can remove the cuff-rings from the suit in the same way. The latex wrist seals remain where they were originally fitted.
Fitting the glove to its ring takes a little more trouble, only because one O-ring sits within it and needs a special tool (supplied) to help you get it right. That done, I instantly had a suit with integrated gloves that shared the same air fed from my direct-feed hose.
Putting the gloves on after I had donned the suit was not that easy, although putting the suit on without having to squeeze my hands through wrist seals was. It became a classic case of the first glove being straightforward but the second being more difficult to get on with an already-gloved hand.
I found a simple solution. I dispensed with anything strapped to my wrist, left the gloves attached to the suit before I jumped into it and went diving with all my instruments on a console.
After a dive, I admit to needing a little help getting the first glove off, but then I always needed help with my cross-shoulder zip too. The knack probably comes with practice.
Of course, if you puncture the gloves, it's the same as puncturing your suit. You get wet. In that case, the best solution is to finish the dive by keeping the affected hand at the lowest point. That way you'll only feel the creeping cold as your undersuit starts to mop up the water that comes in.
Of course, with this system you are not barred from making another dive. You simply remove the cuff unit, use the existing suit wrist-seal and a wet glove.
An alternative way to rig the suit cuff-ring allows you to continue to use the suit wrist-seal inside it. To my mind this dispenses with the greater pleasure of not having to struggle with the seals when getting the suit on, but some will prefer to use these gloves in that way.
The importer tells me that the gloves will also work with some thinner-gauge neoprene seals, although I would suggest that fitting the cuff-rings might be a bit more of a struggle. Kevlar gloves will be available later in the year.
Blue Point Dry Diving Gloves cost around £60 and are available in the UK with the Oceanic logo.
Oceanic SW 01404 891819, www.oceanicuk.com

Have you ever been on a diving trip on which you did so many dives that your feet started to get sore from the continuous association with your wetsuit boots? I did.
I was in Palau and doing six dives each day over a 10-day period. Yes, it is possible, though not with BSAC 88 tables! I solved the problem of sore feet by wearing a pair of ordinary nylon socks under my boots.
My next trip was to the Galapagos, with some very experienced friends. On the first day, as we kitted up, I boldly made an announcement. "I want to share with you all a secret that I have discovered that will add to your diving pleasure. Wear socks under your wetsuit boots."
With that, I made a flamboyant gesture in the direction of my feet. My friends all looked at me indulgently. I stared back at them, then realised that they were already not only wearing socks, but silk ones. Poor John for not knowing something from page one!
Regular readers might remember me reporting on the Reed Chillcheater suit. Not so much a suit, more a coat of paint!
The Chillcheater polyurethane material over a knit inner layer clings so well to your body that casual observers can see not only your religion but what you had for breakfast. I did say you needed balls to wear one.
It has the thermal properties of about 2mm of neoprene, it's stretchy and yet it's breathable, so you are not left as sweaty as you might expect to be. All you need to do for maintenance is to rinse it between dives, letting it dry in an airy environment.
I find the Chillcheater ideal for wearing under another suit in conditions in which one might otherwise be a bit chilly. Its shiny black nature might make you an object of derision (not me, surely?) but you can slip into a clammy wetsuit very easily while wearing it and put the Chillcheater on in the privacy of your cabin should you so wish, because it dries in a moment after the previous dive. That's because the material is "hydrophilic" - it sheds water.
Put together the two images. One of me walking about on the aft deck in nothing but my skimpies and a pair of socks, like some '50s porno-film actor; the other of me wearing a shiny black suit so tight that people suggest I might spend more time in the gym. Not very nice, is it?
Well, Chillcheater has partially come to the rescue by supplying me with a pair of socks in matching black polyurethane, so that I can dispense with the nylon ones.
It might not be much of an improvement, but some of my shipmates are grateful! What's more, the long-sleeved top it also sent allows me to resemble a fiend from a martial-arts movie.
The Chillcheater suit itself seems to have been improved, because the manufacturer has done away with the inner tape. This, I found first time round, fell off after about 10 dives.
The suit occupies no space at all in my luggage, so I now take it with me on every trip. I might not always need to use it with my wetsuit, but it also comes in useful for parties.
The Chillcheater suit costs £120. The hood costs £15 and the socks £15
Reed Chillcheater 01271 815828, www.chillcheater.com