DATELINE: 23 December 2002

CHARDONNAY DIET WINS SCIENTIFIC BACKING

Good news for Xmas - the weight loss technique pioneered by UK dive girls and involving large quantities of Chardonnay, has been demonstrated to work by researchers in Germany.
Two groups of obese patients were given identical diets to follow but one group were given fruit juice to drink and other an equal quantity of white wine. Those following the white wine diet lost 20% more weight than the fruit juice drinkers.
The dive girl version of the Chardonnay diet is a weekend regime consisting of replacing a Friday night meal with Chardonnay, followed by black coffee and at least a litre of water for breakfast, Pot Noodle and a mini Mars bar for lunch with buckets of tea on the boat, and more Chardonnay in the evening.
“As long as you drink plenty of water throughout, and dive conservatively it works fine. But I wouldn’t recommend it for more than a dive weekend.” Commented the Chardonnay diet pioneer Diva Jones.