Are you a shark-fancier or a dolphin-devotee?
Tim Ecott reckons our preferences for big sea creatures say quite a bit about us - and, needless to say, sex comes into it too
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SHARK OR DOLPHIN?
I'VE JUST BEEN TO THE BAHAMAS, where I went in search of dolphins and sharks, hoping to show my children both.
On Bimini we found what we wanted. Organised boat trips lasting several hours delivered both spotted and bottlenose dolphins, and several opportunities to get into the water and demonstrate what poor swimmers we are compared to these elegant marine mammals.
On the adjoining island of South Bimini I was also delighted to meet Dr Samuel Gruber, a world-famous expert on sharks whose biological field station has been featured in countless documentaries about those fine fish.
This visit confirmed a theory I have been nurturing for some time. It concerns the differences between people who get excited about these two emblematic but fundamentally different life-forms - the "killer" sharks and the "smiling" dolphins.
Ask many male divers what they want to see under water and they say "big sharks". Ask a female diver what she wants to see and she may well tell you it is her "dream to swim with a dolphin".
Anyone who has read Neutral Buoyancy will know dolphins occupy a special place in my affections. But I am also fond of sharks. They have a beauty all their own, a seductive, sexy, sinuous swiftness that puts everything else in the sea to shame.
In anthropomorphic terms they are let down by their eyes, small gimlet pin-points that allow us no glimpse of their emotions. Dolphins, on the other hand, seem to look at us, and have large round eyes as expressive and doleful as a dog's.
They also seem to "talk" to each other. For anyone like me who remembers TV's Flipper, their credentials as intelligent and faithful friends are perpetually secure.
A chance meeting with either a shark or a dolphin ranks equally highly in my scale of top underwater encounters. I can't say I relish one more than the other. But many people are more partisan.
An American dolphin-trainer once told me that when one of her dolphins had a baby, she loved it "just as much as her human niece". I found that a bit weird.
In the Bahamas I met an animal-trainer who had worked with all sorts of marine mammals for over 30 years. She said she loved dolphins, but in her expert opinion they were no cleverer than dogs. Lovable, yes, but by no means super-clever.
However, some of my companions on the dolphin-watching and swimming trips claimed that dolphins were extremely clever, possibly clairvoyant and certainly possessed of a spiritual dimension that we mere land-mammals can barely hope to understand. More than once these women (yes, they were all female) produced little velvet bags containing crystals which I assume had some sort of psycho-kinetic value.
They said the dolphins were trying to communicate with mankind, but that we were too stupid to understand them.
Ever since US scientist John Lilly proclaimed dolphins as "super intelligent" beings in the 1960s there have been claims that they have a special link with humans, and may even have healing powers. Mind you, he was experimenting with LSD at the same time.
Today, numerous organisations promote dolphin awareness, and charities that help disabled children and depressed adults come into contact with the species.
They say dolphins will seek out an ailing person and communicate at some subliminal level, promoting renewed vigour and somehow "energising" those who meet them.
Sharks, as we know, are more pragmatic: they eat sick creatures.
Whatever the reality, dolphins are beautiful. As mammals they share characteristics that make us empathise with them: close family relationships, social bonding, co-operative hunting techniques and vocalisations that seem to constitute a "language". Perhaps most basic to our anthropomorphic desires is that the shape of their face gives them the appearance of a smile.
The trouble with sharks is that on occasion they have been known to bite people. Let's face it, when Erich Ritter claimed he had a special relationship with sharks he ended up getting his leg bitten off (well, most of it anyway).
And I admit that if I was adrift in the sea at night I would rather find myself surrounded by dolphins.
But sharks, hunted to the brink of extinction for their fins, are truly amazing creatures too. Some species are now known to exhibit socially co-operative hunting skills. We now know they can "learn" and that they can distinguish colours. They are also vital to the healthy functioning of our oceans.
The trouble with dolphins is that we think we understand them and that they somehow have wisdom that we do not. Shark experts also respect and revere the their chosen species. They just don't go gooey about them.
Maybe it's like the dog v cat thing. Most women like cats - enigmatic, mysterious, sensual and cute. Men like dogs - enthusiastic, dopey, smelly and faithful.
So naturally, when it comes to the sea, women go for telepathic, communicative, brainy and smiley dolphins.
And men favour the strong, silent, hungry scavengers with small brains.
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